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Student Reminders! EN100 Students: Diagnostic Paragraphs Due 9/9

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Welcome Back! Welcome Back, UWP Students. Thus begins the fall semester!

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Rebuilding Paragraphs

As a group, look at the following paragraphs. Determine what might be improved about them (consider language, grammar, structure and development). Then choose one group member and rewrite the paragraph, while the rest of the group offers suggestions. Use MS Word on the computers in the lab, and make sure that you double space your paragraph. Once you have it completed email it to karpowic@uwp.edu (as an attachment), and we will go over it as a class.

 

1. An argument centered on why someone should move from the state: Winter in Wisconsin is stupid. I hate driving and shoveling. Plus, the cold. What else is there?

2. An argument on the GB Packers: The Packers are way better than the Giants. Their quarterback, and their offense. And they are good at home games. They have won a lot there.

3. An an argument to lower the drinking age: After you have a few drinks you can get what’s called “liquid courage.” Then you aren’t afraid to talk to a really hot chick at a party or get in a fight or whatever. I did that one time. It was cool.

4.  An argument on losing weight: The best way to lose weight is diets. And exercise, too. And sometimes that show The Biggest Loser is on a marathon. I watch it all day and get motivated. Plus, last season Anna Kournikova was on there. She is totally hot.

5. On the difficulties of college: To be a student you have to be lots of things. You have to study. Then you have to go to work. Then you need to attend classes, even in the bad weather. Then your parents make you do a bunch of stuff around the house, and you can’t go out with your girlfriend. Then she gets all mad at you and sends like a hundred texts about how you don’t care about her. But you have a lot of crap to do. You are a student.

6. On the movie The Matrix: The Matrix is a totally awesome movie. Neo get’s this wire put in his head and learns kung fu in about two minutes. Then he fights the agents and wins and gets the girl at the end. Fricken awesome.

 

Questions to consider:

Language:

  • Is it appropriate for a college-level audience?
  • Are there active verbs in use?
  • Where are the adjectives and descriptors? Is there a way that you can improve them so they appeal to the reader’s senses?

 

Grammar

  • Are all the sentences complete?
  • Can we change the sentence types to make our transitions work better?

Development

  • Are all three stages of paragraph development present: Topic, support, explanation?
  • Look at the support. Do the examples and explanations in the body of the paragraph underscore the point that the writer is trying to make?
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